Goodbye 2018!

Oh boy, this year. It sure was...something.

You know, I start every year with a few ideas of what I want to do. I stopped making resolutions years ago because I never kept them, but I always have ideas. "I want to write my novel this year." "I want to start dating again." "I want to travel and find out new things about myself." "I want to lose some weight and focus on eating better."

I'm not doing that this year.

This year I am opening myself up to possibility. This year I am opening myself up to magic. I'm not steering myself in any direction, I'm not looking down a list of things to do or places to go. This year is going to be spontaneous because I'm not making plans for it.

Sure, there are two trips I have booked for next year. February and April will be spent adventuring, near and far. Next year I'm going to cuddle my new niece and I'm going to continue going to therapy to cope with all I've lost. Outside of those few things, I have no plans for next year...but I do have hopes.

I hope that I can be kinder when I am under pressure, because I realize I lash out and hurt people I care about.

I hope that I can be more forgiving when people hurt me. I hope I can learn to let go of the pain and not hold a grudge. They may not be sorry they hurt me, they may not care, but if I do not want to hurt anymore then I need to let it go.

I hope I can find little things every day to smile about. I hope I can dance more, laugh harder.

I hope I can continue to take my overall health seriously. I hope I can be gentler with myself.

I hope I can continue working towards making some of my bigger dreams come true.

I have a lot of hope for 2019...and I hope you do, too.

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